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ABOUT LAST NIGHT: AHS Reveals Roanoke Nightmare, South Park Gives Us ‘Member Berries, and Another Catfish has a Broken Camera

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A QUICK SPOILERY ROUNDUP FOR WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14. WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT LAST NIGHT? AND WHAT’D WE MISS? LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS!

AMERICAN HORROR STORY

The theme of the season was finally revealed: My Roanoke Nightmare. The show uses an ID Network-style documentary reenactment to tell the tale of Shelby and Matt, a Los Angeles couple who move to rural North Carolina after a seemingly random violent attack. Lily Rabe and Andre Holland play the talking head versions of Shelby and Matt; Sarah Paulson and Cuba Gooding Jr. play the couple in the reenactment. In Roanoke, they move into a farmhouse where they are besieged by things like dead pigs, Duck Dynasty Extras, and teeth falling from the sky.

roanoke

Matt’s sister Lee arrives on the scene to spar with Shelby. “Lee judged my yoga, and my gluten allergy, and my two years of college,” Shelby says darkly. Angela Bassett plays the documentary version of Lee, who is an ex-cop who survived rape, booze and pills to be awesome enough to drag Shelby about yoga. “Yoga is not a job.” Shelby and Lee get locked in the basement where they discover a cadre of Twig Men who escaped from Michael’s craft store.

In addition to the narrators’ framing device, the episode plays with unreliable narrators, as all three characters tell different versions of the story. AHS enthusiasts might recall that Paulson’s character from season 1’s Murder House told the tale of the Lost Colony of Roanoke Island, so the seasons are connected once again.

AMERICA’S GOT TALENT

A 12-year old who has been called The Next Taylor Swift won $1 million on the finale of America’s Got Talent. Conspiracy Theory: Simon Cowell joined the show just so he could sign her to a record deal, right?

SOUTH PARK

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It’s season 20 of the iconic Comedy Central show about children in South Park, Colorado who never grow up. During the last two seasons, the show has experimented with more serialized storytelling, which resulted in a creative rebirth. Season 19, with its Bro PC-Principal, SoDaSoPa gentrification and pointed commentary about everyone being a brand hit all the right nerves. The premiere’s most biting segment involves Member Berries – special berries that make everyone feel good about how things used to be. ” ‘Member when we were safer?” ” ‘Member when there weren’t so many Mexicans?” The episode also takes on reboots and online trolls. South Park may not always bat 1,000, but the show always keeps it 100%.

CATFISH

We still haven’t gotten over the episode where Spencer from Knoxville is convinced he’s spent the last five years in a long distance relationship with Katy Perry, so last night’s episode seemed a little dull. It featured the story of Luis and “Sydney,” a catfish/troll/con who convinced Luis she was a single mother living in a homeless shelter with a seven-month old baby and her six-year old little sister. Sydney’s tale of woe included a dead grandmother and a mother who went to prison. Luis sent her money of course, despite never seeing “Sydney” on video since all of her electronics had broken cameras. (You’ve seen one Catfish, you’ve seen them all).

sydney

“Sydney” turns out to be Nae, and everything she said was a total lie except for the fact that she has a baby. The best part of this episode was Nae’s explanation for how she stole some pictures online. “You know how it says if you like McDonald’s, click here? I stole a girl’s pictures and then blocked her,” she said. In the end Nae explains that she had zero feelings for Luis and there was nothing wrong with what she did since she did it all for her child.

Of course she claims to have stopped Catfishing after Nev gave her a sensitive-yet-stern talking to, but I don’t buy it. Did you?

Alex is a lawyer and opinionated.

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