I've Never

Being Human Recap E1: Meet the Monstrio

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Snark Tank is where we recap TV episodes. This Being Human BBC recap is for the season one episode, Flotsam and Jetsam
[/icon-box]For years, people have recommended I watch the UK version of Being Human. They would give me a list of reasons from the wonderful characters to the plot twists and turns. I watched the internet feud over which show was better when Syfy Channel launched the American version, but I still didn’t hop on the bandwagon.

It seems like a show I would love. I’m a Whovian, Star Wars, Potterhead, Oncer, [insert more fandoms here] fan, so I love science fiction and fantasy. I read Anne Rice books so I adore good vampires stories (sorry, Twilight). But I’m a big wuss for the horror genre, so if a show has scary elements, I sometimes won’t watch it. It’s why I haven’t jumped into Walking Dead yet. I wasn’t sure if Being Human would be scary.

It’s not that I didn’t want to watch this show. As it was airing, I finished up undergrad. School and then work took up most of my time. There were also many years I didn’t have BBC America so no access to the show. Thanks to Netflix, I finally have access to the entire thing.

I’m going into the show pretty cold. Here’s what I know about Being Human:

There’s a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost. For some reason, they’re all hanging out together or they’re roommates? A few seasons in, we lose the first three, there’s a new vampire, werewolf, and ghost (I think).

That’s all I know about the plot.

I also discovered some info while writing a piece for my personal blog. An actor I highly admire is in this show.

I adore Michael Socha. I’m always excited to see his work.

Being Human: But Hope, Sir Socha Awesome-A-Lot doesn’t come in until season three!

Me: WHAT! DAMNIT!

Being Human: Wait, wait, wait! Russell Tovey is in the first three seasons as a main character!

Me:

Okay, I can watch this show now. I’m a fan of Mr. Tovey’s work too. While it was a small role, his take on Henry Knight in BBC Sherlock made him one of my favorite characters in the entire show. He’s incredibly talented, and I’m over the moon to see him.

So as you can tell, I know next to nothing about Being Human. Everything will be experienced for the first time for me. These will all be honest reactions to each episode.

Let’s get started!

“Flotsam and Jetsam”

We have a pretty dramatic introduction from our resident ghost named Annie explaining how death isn’t the end as she bleeds out into a floor. Mitchell gets vamped out during what looks like World War I only to grow his hair out to sexy length for the present day voice over. Finally, George is bleeding out on the ground while another dude dies beside him. He then later turns into a werewolf.

It’s a pretty crammed packed opening three minutes. Smack in the middle of it, we go from HIGH ACTION DRAMA to

Look at these glorious, adorable little monsters

Look at these glorious, adorable little monsters

George and Mitchell sharing a cookie in hospital scrubs. I have no idea what’s going on, but I love these dumb boys already.

The Adorable Duo moves into Annie’s house. She’s peeks out with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

All aboard the Friendship Train!

Domestic Life for Monsters

I need a nickname for the main character group. Monster Trio? Monstrio? MONSTRIO IS IT!

Our Monstrio settles into life together. Annie can be seen by normal people (weird). George’s time of the werewolf month is coming. I really hope this show is littered with menstrual jokes for him. Meanwhile, Mitchell has zero fucks to give as long as he has pizza.

The Adorable Duo works at a hospital. They have the loudest possible secret conversation in an echoing locker room. Seriously, humans might not have super hearing, but you gents are loud! Anyway, George hates that Annie lives with them. He’s all “Monster bros before ghost hoes!” and wants her to leave. Mitchell reassures him that Annie must have unfinished business keeping her stuck in the afterlife.

Already, I highly appreciate the boys’ relationship, and I’m only six minutes into the episode. I hate the stereotype that men can’t show friendly affections towards one another or OH NO THEY’RE GAY! It’s moronic. In American television, guys have to be tough and robotic only showing their feelings to ladies. Even then, they’re labeled as “sensitive” guys. Why can’t men openly emote just as much as women? It’s good for their health too! The number one killer with men is heart attacks usually caused by stress. Crying and showing your feelings is a stress reliever. It’s why women tend to live longer than men. We cry a lot and express our feelings.

Men, take an example from George and Mitchell here. Show your feelings and live longer. Show your fellow bro you care with a good buddy hug.

There’s your friendly PSA for the episode. Now back to the show.

TOO SPOOKY!

Mitchell notices the security cameras blitzing out with an empty elevator opening. He goes to investigate as whispers call his name.

A creepy guy named Seth looms over an unconscious patient. He’s looking for almost dead rich men to recruit for his clan. I’m guessing he’s a vampire. He offers up sharing the comatose dude with Mitchell who’s all like, “Naw, man, I don’t do that anymore. I have pizza now.” Though, he’s clearly jonesing for some blood and almost gives in.

Mitchell kicks Seth out saying, “The hospital is my turf, son! Tell your boss I will vamp up and beat you if I see any pointy teeth here!”

Everything goes to Monster hell

George chats with a mousey nurse when Mitchell appears telling him to go. The nurse is all starry eyed over the boys.

Me too, Nurse Girl. Me too.

George rushes to his normal transformation station in the hospital basement to find it under construction. Shit.

Mitchell has coffee with Nurse Girl, and she’s suddenly looks SUPER TASTY to him. Then the following scene happens:

Nurse: WE SHOULD DATE TEE HEE!

Mitchell: *dramatic tone* I can’t! I’ll eat you!

Nurse: Like in bed?

Mitchell: Noooo! UGH! *desperate man tears*

Okay, okay, it didn’t go like that. Mitchell says he’s looking for something normal, and you can tell he doesn’t want to hurt this nice girl. Lucky for him, George sprints into the cafeteria in search of his Monster Bro.

They drive off into the countryside where George tucks and rolls out of the car and hustles off into the woods. Running into multiple people (Mr. Tovey plays comedy so well), he’s stuck without a safe place to transform. There’s even a creepy guy with a hat for a moment. Stranger danger?

Mitchell drives him back to the house, and Annie’s like, “Oh my god you’re home! I’m not lonely at all! Please love me!”

She wants to stay and watch her werewolf boy change which is so not cool with George. Mitchell’s all for it too trying to convince George being a werewolf is part of his life.

I’m sorry, but please don’t peer pressure George into this. He’s clearly uncomfortable with this notion. The worst part is, he really doesn’t have the time to argue with them. He gives in, and I’m an unhappy camper with this development.

I feel like under all that sexy suaveness, there’s a big dork inside Mitchell waiting to bust out. He saves the television and plops down outside on the stoop with it.

"It's okay, you guys! I got the tv. We'll watch Netflix after this"

“It’s okay, you guys! I got the tv. We’ll watch Netflix after this”

Dude, are you seriously going to sit outside and hug a television all night? Is that your plan? Stick the thing in your car. It will be safe there. Then, you’ll have free hands to help guard your apartment in case someone hears your wolf buddy inside! You can return to your cartoons in the morning, Mitch Boo.

Meanwhile, Annie is Creeper McCreepison gawking at a naked George waiting to wolf out.

As a viewer, I recognize this is supposed to be funny. But knowing this entire ordeal is against George’s will, it’s incredibly uncomfortable to watch. I feel like I’m invading his personal space.

The scene spirals tragically out of control as George turns into a werewolf. Mitchell feels awful for his friend, and Annie immediately regrets her decision. Like a hopeful dumbass, she calls out, “George! You okay in there!”

Of course he’s mentally gone and destroys the place, while she ghost teleports outside to hang with Mitchell and his TV for the night.

Sorry my werewolf didn’t make you breakfast the next morning

George feels awful for destroying all their stuff (IT’S OKAY! MITCHELL SAVED THE TELEVISION!)

Then Mitchell drops his best line yet:

“I’m sensing a trip to IKEA, *DRAMATIC HAIR FLIP* and you know my feelings about there.”

No! I don’t know your feelings about IKEA. What happened there? Did you get lost? Did you need an adult? Did you marvel at the modern wonders of cheaply made furniture?

I need answers to this IKEA mystery!

Owen, their landlord and Annie’s living fiance, is on his way over while werewolf destruction lays around the Monstrio’s crib. She’s all excited to see her man while the Adorable Duo launch into panic mode. I get Annie’s excitement. She can finally be seen by people again. I’m sure there’s a hope to reunite with her boo again.

Thank God when he’s not a killer puppy George is the logical one of the Monstrio. He calls her out on how stupid it is for Owen to come by as well as the series of personal questions Annie wants the boys to ask him. She throws out an interesting tidbit of brand new information about George losing his lover.

Oh no! George! Did you eat your last partner? Is this going to be some awesome dramatic angst I get to see you struggle with? Should I make more popcorn for this development? Did you kill him or her?

The doorbell rings. Owen’s here. Annie flees upstairs, and Mr. Tovey flexes is awkward comedic muscles once again. You are so good at life, good sir!

George spouts out “EVERYONE THINK NORMAL! We’re NORMAL. Act NORMAL!”

And Mitchell’s like, “Yeeeaaaaaaahhh, that ship sailed a long time ago, mate.”

George fails at playing normal by spouting off some zen speech about why they have no stuff, while Annie practically falls down the stairs to see her man.

Wolfy Boo flies up the stairs stating if she doesn’t shut the hell up, Owen will die of shock if he sees her.

Annie loves this idea while George wonders if he’s the only sane one of the group.

Mitchell is sweet and asks Owen about his feelings on Annie’s death. We find out she had fallen down the stairs. Me thinks there’s something more going on with that. It was stated earlier in the episode that ghosts stick around for unfinished business. I have a feelings Annie was killed on purpose. Maybe this is a cover, and Owen killed her!

I’m kidding! I don’t think Owen killed her. His eyebrows are too sweet for that. Though, it’s likely Annie was killed.

George rejoins them downstairs saying the weird noise was a pigeon he killed with a shoe. Thoroughly freaked out, Owen decides it’s time to leave the weird house for the safety of the normal world.

Annie is a sad ghosty poo. She picks up Owen’s beer bottle and presses her lips to it. Normally, I would make a joke about indirect kisses as a television trope, but it’s a really nice moment for her.

Big vamp on campus

We meet the bad vampire Herrick, and he’s a cop. Mitchell catches him charming the muggles around the hospital. Herrick is right away charismatic. He uses kindness and manners to drawl attention to himself. For example, he easily captivates a cafeteria worker simply by giving her a compliment. It’s subtle, but you can see minute leader qualities peeking out.

He states that vampires should come out into the open and let humanity have a choice for immortality. Mitchell believes this is a dumb idea, because immortality sucks (literally as a vampire).

Suddenly, Herrick gets real scary fast! There’s plenty of sick kids upstairs in the hospital. If they were all vampires, their parents would celebrate that their sick children were better. This is a bluff to rattle Mitchell. We also get a lot of information thrown at us in about a span of thirty seconds. Mitchell used to be a leader. I’m assuming in the military in what looked like World War I in the cold opening. He also chose immortality to save his men and then served under Herrick. I’m sure more of this will be explored as the season progresses.

Herrick throws out the classic “There’s a war coming. Which side will you choose?” before dropping the proverbial mic and swaggering out.

Puppy love

Nurse Girl pops up again. George fails at being smooth and hitting on her. He can smell her shampoo five feet away which creeps her out. Mitchell notices that George is interested in Nursey Boo. Allow me to recap their conversation:

BRO! You totally dig her, bro!

DUDE! Shut up! I do not!

BRO! I’ll totally ask her out for you!

DUDE! I’m not ten years old!

BRO! It’s totally cool! That’s what friendship is for!

DUDE! Friendship is Magic!

BRO! When did this become My Little Pony!

DUDE!

BRO!

Anyway, Mitchell developed a problem throughout the episode. Whenever he speaks to the nurse, his hand starts shaking. He’s reaching a point where he has to drink some blood soon. I have a feeling that Nursey isn’t going to survive the episode. I could see where this could be a problem in the real world, but Mitchell works in a hospital. Why can’t he head down to the blood bank, stick a straw in a pack of fluids, and make his own personal Capri Sun? Yes, it would take away from the dramatic tension in the show. Except that’s the reason why I thought he worked at a hospital to begin with. He has access to free vampire food. It’s the only logical solution rather than blood lusting after Nursey Boo.

Return of the Living Dead

So, there’s a plot point throughout the entire episode that I didn’t mention. I didn’t think it was important at all. A hospital worker named Lauren died a few months prior to the start of the episode. They were having a memorial at the hospital, planting a tree, and it didn’t seem important.

That is until she pops up and corners George ready to kill him with her brand new shiny vampire fangs!

WHAT THE HELL, BEING HUMAN! I thought this was supposed to be about adorable puppies and sexy vampires! Not creepy minor characters popping up from the dead!

Vamp Lauren wonders why George isn’t fleeing in terror. He’s too busy processing that this is all Mitchell’s fault. Apparently vampires can smell other people and tell they’re werewolves. That’s enough to make Lauren shrug and waltz out of there.

George finds his bro and punches him out for turning Lauren into a vampire. What’s the point of them trying to be normal if Mitchel shacks up with women to make more monsters. This is a great confrontation between the Adorable Duo showing their very different problems. While they’re both supernatural beings, they still have separate dilemmas. George’s problem is only one day of the month. Mitchell must struggle with his vampire tendencies every day. This is a good development that can be built on for the rest of the series.

Nurse Girl (I really should learn her name, but I don’t think she’ll make it through the episode) has the worst possible timing and bumps into a now upset Mitchell. She asks him out for drinks.

MITCHELL! DON’T BE A DOUCHEBAG! Your friend likes her! Don’t you remember your BRO DUDE conversation earlier!?

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Human heartbeats swell his mind, and he agrees to go get drinks with Nursey.

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STUPID MAN!

Annie the cute as butts ghost

For most of the episode, Annie is like a disease inside my body. I initially really don’t like her. I think she doesn’t quite grasp what it means to be a ghost. People from her past have moved on while she literally has not. But damnit, she’s adorable as hell! She crept up in my heart and settled herself right into my feelings! Her urge to find acceptance and happiness makes me root for her too! GO ANNIE!

She texted Owen from George’s phone that their sink is messing up to lure him back to the house. With plans to meet her ex-fiance, she hilariously can’t find the right way to surprise him.

Owen arrives, and he’s with another lady which Annie stated earlier in the episode she HATES!

And then, the scene proceeds to break my heart.

He comes around the corner, and Owen can’t see Annie. I don’t know if in that moment she didn’t want to face him anymore or what, but she’s invisible to the man she loves. To make things worse, he’s moved on with another woman.

It’s heart wrenching as her big brown eyes well up in tears, and she mourns a life taken away from her. To make my feelings hurt more, George comes home and then unloads his sob story. He had ran away after becoming a werewolf and left his world behind. He met Mitchell. Things started getting better. Then he saw his ex-partner (THANK GOD HE DIDN’T EAT THEM!) had moved on with someone else.

He explains while on holiday, he went out one night for a walk with another guest staying at his hotel. A werewolf found him and killed the guy. George got a wicked scratch from the attack. At least he made it through. Now him, Annie, and Mitchell are survivors in a pretty messed up world.

And at least they have each other to be an adorable Monstrio together.

Bro drama!

George finds out from another nurse that Mitchell went to get drinks with Nursey.

I’m going to start a prayer circle now for Nurse Girl.

Mitchell gets the blood hand shakes starting to realize that Herrick might have been right. Why fight his vamp urges when there’s a blonde buffet right in front of him.

For the love of God, George, RUN THERE FASTER!

Nursey invites Mitchell back to her place. Before he can answer, Vampire Lauren strolls into the bar. I don’t know if I’m terrified or happy to see her.

For once, I’m glad that Nursey is a bit naive on the uptake. She recognizes Lauren, but she can’t place where. Mitchell goes “WELP! TIME TO GO NOW BYE!” and drags Lauren out of the bar.

She’s livid at Mitchell for abandoning her to vampirism. This is some Anne Rice shit going down. He proposes they run away together to escape Herrick. This girl has no urge to be saved especially from the jerk butt that left her. In fact, she’s bat shit crazy. Lauren loves killing people. She has no intent on following Herrick’s idea of offering immortality to the world. She’d rather murder all the humans and enjoy the bloodbath.

“WELP! YOU’RE INSANE! PEACE OUT!” Mitchell heads back inside. Oh Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitch, Mitch baby boo…

You should have killed Lauren then and there. This is going to vampire bite you in the ass.

Nursey isn’t pleased with him ending their date. There aren’t enough sexy hair flips and pouty faces to convince her it’s not her fault. She makes an excuse and leaves Mitchell behind.

Out in the alley, George runs into Lauren. The crazy vamp throws him to the ground, and there’s poor Nursey with her throat bit open and bleeding to death.

I saw this coming, but I thought it would be Mitchell who would attack Nursey. Granted, I never thought Lauren would be alive either.

A passerby screams, and Mitchell rushes outside to see his bro trying to save Nursey’s life. Lauren taunts him saying if he bites her and turns her, Nursey will live. In a character defining moment, Mitchell chooses to let her die saving her from vampirism.

Rest in peace, Nursey.

Choose your side

At the hospital, George confronts Mitchell demanding how vampires have never been outed. And there’s Herrick lingering in the background with the other police officers. Mitchell says vampires had ways over thousands of years to hide themselves indicating placing people in positions of power like the bad guy awkwardly watching them from afar.

Outside, Herrick asks Mitchell which side he chooses in the coming war. Our sexy hero vamp chooses to protect the humans.

Good job, Bro!

Monstrio Family Unit

Back at Casa de la Monster, the Monstrio is pretty shaken from the day. Annie and George fully realize how hard it must be to live in Mitchell’s shoes all the time. Other vampires are predators, but he chooses to keep his humanity.

This is a nice moment with them. It’s the beginning foundation of their weird little family unit throughout the show.

Remember creepy stranger danger hat guy I mentioned earlier? The episode ends with him lurking outside their home.

Final Thoughts

This is a great first episode. I had a huge list of shows I could have recapped, but I’m glad I started with Being Human.

Mr. Tovey was phenomenal the entire way through. Out of the Monstrio, George is the one that I’m excited to learn more about. That being said, Aiden Turner (Mitchell) had a stellar performance selling the humanity of his role foiled with the fierce nature of the other vampires. And as I said earlier, I fell in love with Annie thanks to Lenora Crichlow’s acting.

These are going to be biweekly recaps. I hate myself for making this schedule, because I can’t wait two weeks to watch the next episode!

Best Line:

George: Now remember, we’re two guys renting a house. It’s the most natural thing in the world. We’ll just have to be totally and completely normal.

Mitchell: Yeah. Good luck with that!

Best Little Monster:

George

Because I’m watching Being Human for the first time, please don’t leave spoilers for future episodes in the comments. You can comment on this episode, but I’d rather discover the show on my own so I can make my own theories. Thanks!

Hope set out into the world to be a Pokemon Coordinator. When she realized that Pokemon were not real, she pursued her other passion: writing. Hope was raised in fandoms and saw how they can help save the world from her work with The Harry Potter Alliance. Now, she works to bring that love into writing one article at a time. She's also a diehard Atlanta Braves fan, so don't diss her team.

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